42 Things And Experiences That Feel Beyond Bad, As Shared By Folks Online
Hate is a pretty natural feeling towards an enemy. But there are things most of us would never wish upon anyone, even our enemies. There's a very fine line between human and monster in that regard.
But we as a species need to talk about feelings, whatever they may be. And folks on Reddit have been talking about feelings quite a lot recently. Feelings that most of us don't really experience and hence don't think about. But we should. Cause it fosters empathy, and that's something we can never have enough of.
This one Reddit thread has been going viral—garnering over 43,000 upvotes and 60 Reddit awards—where folks shared the worst and most painful feelings, experiences, and situations they've ever had to go though.
Scroll down to read their stories, and, fair warning, it does get very sad and very depressing at times. So, if you feel overwhelmed, take a breather and come back whenever you're ready. But do come back, because this is real, and we need to talk about this.
More Info: Reddit
#1 Losing Your Entire FamilyA few years ago I euthanized an elderly woman’s elderly cat. She’d lost her only daughter to cancer and her husband the month before.
I asked if there was anything I could do for her. She looked down at her cat in her arms, started to cry, and between sobs said “I just want my family back.”
If you find something worse than sitting there powerless as an old woman’s heart breaks over the sudden and permanent loss of all of her loved ones, you have my profound sympathy. Because that was awful.
Image credits: TankVet
#2 Not Being Able To Talk To Someone Who You've Lostlilnicky-1205 said:
When you suddenly cannot breathe properly and your heart beats hard in your chest from the pain of knowing you can never see or talk to someone ever again.
I’ve lost so many people in my life from my teens to now (50’s) this feeling has just been something I’ve always had to live with, and it never goes away. It does become less frequent for some of my loved ones as the years go on but then i lose someone else and it starts again more frequently.
Image credits: lilnicky-1205
#3 Feeling Like A BurdenKeytoemeyo said:
Feeling like a burden (so you never express yourself and end up feeling very, very alone).
This is the [effin'] worst. When you just want to talk about what is bothering you but you don't want your [problems] to bring anyone else down. People will tell you to talk to a therapist but you can't even bring yourself to be a burden to someone being paid for it.
Image credits: Keytoemeyo
#4 GriefThe grief from the [passing away] of a loved. Lost the love of my life after her 5 year battle with ovarian cancer. We were happily married 31 years. It was like someone had cut open my chest and ripped my heart out.
Image credits: renewed_artist
#5 Watching People You Love Destroy Themselvesjust-existing-here said:
Watching someone you care about mess up their life. All you can do is watch.
I tried so hard to help my younger brother with his alcoholism and I couldn’t. It was a feeling of dread, desperation, hope (he was good at saying the right thing). It’s hard to watch.
Image credits: just-existing-here
#6 Betrayal[deleted] said:
When someone you trusted betrays you.
I was going to say: that feeling when you catch someone lying to you, and the way they did it was so nonchalant and normal, that you have to then question anything they’ve ever said with confidence.
Image credits: anon
#7 Trying Hard, But Failing To Make Friendsliving_sunshine said:
Trying hard to make friends but failing , honestly nothing worse than talking to yourself in a group of people.
This hit me harder than most other things here. I've spent my entire life just trying to find someone or some people to hang out with but I'm just the awkward outcast all the time. I have no one to be with physically.
I've been trying to find hobbies that'd be interesting and enjoyable to me for years, I've come up blank. And on the topic of just talking to new people, that is so [friggin'] hard. I get scared of talking to current online friends just because I feel like I might accidentally insult them somehow, actually walking up to someone and saying "hi" is a monumental task I can only attempt once in a blue moon. Not to mention due to my lack of aforementioned hobbies, I have basically no conversation topics and so when I do say hello to someone I just kinda shrink away immediately. Not to mention I also cannot interact with groups of people very well, usually becoming a silent observer.
I wish everyone a good day.
Image credits: living_sunshine
#8 DepressionAfter_Ad9814 said:
A combination of monotony, boredom, insecurity, and anger, along with the need to get out of bed every morning because you have things you need to do.
Everyone knows a functioning alcoholic. People usually don't know about the functioning depressed person. I'm not late sometimes because I'm lazy... it's literally the hardest part of the whole day. Finding a reason not to say [screw] it. The only reason you don't just stay home is because at 20 and 10 jobs ago you realized it doesn't work. So you slog through 50-60 hours of soul crushing activities to just exist how you're supposed to.
Image credits: After_Ad9814
#9 Being Married, But Feeling Singlezvekl said:
Being married but feeling single.
I felt this for too long. My divorce will be final next month and I've been seeing someone who makes me feel like I have a marriage even though we are just dating. Don't stay with someone who refuses to make an effort for your basic needs of feeling loved, valued, and appreciate.
Image credits: zvekl
#10 One Last Something From A Loved One Who's No Longer Heredamedolla78 said:
Longing to feel one last hug or hear one last laugh from a loved one that is no longer here, and the subsequent pain that consumes your entire being.
Also, having a dream about such a person.
It should be a good dream - they're here again, you're with them, you're happy in the dream. Waking up from that dream can be like losing them all over again, so much that you'd prefer not to dream at all.
Image credits: damedolla78
#11 "We Need To Talk"SoFastMuchFurious said:
"We need to talk" and then when you text back right away, they don't text for hours.
My boss used to do this to me like "come see me in my office".
It was to show me a cute video of his cat 99% of the time and 1% was to check in and make sure i was not burnt out. I still get a heart attack and its been four years.
I had a boyfriend text me “ can you come over? We need to talk”. I was wearing my favorite shirt, so I went home and changed first. I knew I was getting broken up with and didn’t want the memories tainting my view of the shirt. I was right. And I still like that shirt.
Image credits: SoFastMuchFurious
#12 The Sense Of Impending Doom As Your Family Slowly Dies OutGetting news that your sibling has stage 4 melanoma. Our parents have both passed. I have come to the realization that sooner than I thought ever, I'm going to be the only person left in my immediate family. This f*****g sucks.
I am 8 years younger than him, but we have always been very close. He is married with 1 kid. I am married and have 2 kids. But it's just different when you and your sibling have been through so much, you're a team.
*Update: my brother passed away. He had surgery the week prior to put a stabilizing rod on his femur. He declined after that. I'm shattered and I feel a loneliness like non-other.
Image credits: socaffienatedlady
#13 Loving Someone More Than They Love You After Spending Years With Themwhosyodaddy328 said:
I know relationships are never 50/50 but loving someone more than they love you after spending years with them. Finding out from your friends that your significant other is sleeping around hurts bad when its 100% unexpected. The heart sinks straight down to your feet and the mind goes down a rabbit hole of thoughts and emotions on why you weren't good enough.
Came here to say this exact thing. That betrayal of trust tarnishes your views on so many things for a VERY long time and PERMANENTLY sticks with you in one capacity or another. It’s a “to the core” kind of betrayal if you truly loved them. Not an easy road to recovery on that one. I’ve had to deal with this issue twice and the second time was REALLY unexpected and created a short circuit in my brain. Have never had much for feelings since. Sort of destroyed what was left of my emotional capacity. Been trying for years to restore it, with no such luck unfortunately.
Image credits: whosyodaddy328
#14 Not Feeling Valuedtvcriticgirlxo said:
Not feeling valued.
I've just accepted that other people aren't very considerate--but keep in mind that this doesn't mean they don't like you. They just show it in their own ways and that may not align with yours.
When I was going through a really rough emotional time I approached a lot of friends and family to talk about it and keep myself sane. Each and every one talked with me--and each one never followed up again. I was so sad about that for a long time because I was just craving someone to care, someone to say "hey about that thing--how are you doing?" and it never came. But then I finally remembered that they still took the time to sit down with me and talk about it at all! Maybe they just thought it was over or I'd call them again if I needed help. I can't really judge them based on how I was feeling at the time, because they weren't going through the same anguish and although they wanted to support me that doesn't mean they "get it."
Anyway long story short I try to not do the same thing to other people now. If someone mentions they're having trouble sure I'll be there for them--but I also try to follow up and make sure they're okay later (even if you have to set a reminder in your phone). We can be the person we wanted to have.
Image credits: tvcriticgirlxo
#15 Experiencing A Panic Or Anxiety AttackThe feeling of a full blown panic and anxiety attack. You lose all control and think you are dying and it just incapacitates you for a while. I just had a 2+ hour episode of full blown panic attacks this evening and 3 hours later, I'm still having issues but it's like 35% better now. That, and maybe a more conventional feeling would be despair-anxiety like you're getting called into the boss' and you have zero idea why, but you feel a bad omen like, what did I do?? Am I in trouble for something you don't even know you did. The waiting game sucks.
Image credits: mitsumoi1092
#16 Being Told You're Not Loved By A ParentHow about a parent telling you they don't love you?
When I was 12 my father got another woman pregnant, so decided to divorce my mother for other woman. On his last day coming by the house ever, he came into my room to say goodbye and as he was leaving he told me, in pretty much these exact words, "I want you to know that I don't love you anymore and I am going to start a new family now. You probably won't ever see me again." He then walked out of my room. I ran out of my room screaming and crying holding on to my dad's leg begging him not to leave as he dragged me down the hall, my mother screaming/crying, to have him basically shake me off, curse, and bolt out the door. Next time I saw him I was 17.
It was a pretty messed up thing and it REALLY hurt me as a kid.
My mother was amazing and fortunately she remarried within a few years and my step father has been an amazing person in my life. I am 38 years old now so this was a while ago.
Image credits: GeneticsGuy
#17 LonelinessOldandBoldDude said:
I like talking to old people, but sometimes the type of loneliness they talk about is so heartbreaking. One lady in her 90's told me how it just didn't feel like the current world was made for her, and that everyone she really related with was either dead or basically completely incapacitated.
Image credits: OldandBoldDude
#18 Feeling Like Sleeping All The Timedwalshhh45 said:
Feeling like all you want to do is sleep. Cause the dreams you have are better than reality.
Similarly, like in my case, wanting to sleep because reality is tremendously agonizing, but being scared to sleep because of having vivid and horrific nightmares. The only solution I’ve come up with is distractions and simply laying in bed waiting.
Image credits: dwalshhh45
#19 Feeling Like Your Mind Is Slowly Slipping Away, Out Of ControlFeeling like your mind is slowing slipping out of your control. To go from a person that was able to remember the faces of kindergarten classmates after 25 years to not remembering pictures that you took of your children last weekend at her first t-ball game; or not remembering the t-ball game at all.
Constantly letting people down because you can't remember to do even the simplest tasks like make a phone call or ask a question. Very little gets committed to long term memory these days. Nearly half of all interactions I have with people that I am asked to recall something result in me admitting I don't recall. That number goes up well beyond half if the thing was from less than 2 years ago.
Walking around in what can only be described as a dream state because of brain fog. Fog that can feel so thick that simple questions start mild panic attacks while I scramble to formulate a coherent response. I used to be a jovial generally outgoing person, but now I prefer to keep to myself because I'm afraid of interacting with people, can they tell I'm losing my mind? Can they tell the point I'm trying to make isn't quite made because I couldn't hold the thought long enough to form a complete thought? Can the people who know me tell that I'm losing it? Is it just me?
The headaches, the headaches, the headaches. I don't know where the headaches come from but they must all be related. The headaches used to come and go, now they never really go, sometimes just dulling down. Actually, they never really come either headaches seem to be ever present.
My executive function (the command and control of the brain) has falling so far from my old self that I not able to take on complex thought activities. I used to write policies and opinions as an expert in my field. Develop complex strategies with multiple steps, triggers, and contingency plans. Now I can't read a page of text without stopping 20 times to re-read, refocus, or gain control of my eyes. It takes hours to write a 5 sentence response email. The information isn't stuck in my head, the filing system in my brain is so jumbled up that the files aren't ever available for recall. (I won't remember it later)
All of these symptoms combine to make me feel like I'm losing control of my own self. I was always a cerebral person, often lost in thought contemplative, deep thought. Now I just get lost. They all seem to move as a team building up each other and strengthening as a group as my mind gets weaker. I might end up mentally absent long before I die. I might not remember my child's first dance recital, I might not remember my wedding day. I might remember those things. I don't know. But it is a real possibility that my mind goes and the slow creep of this possibility into my world is absolutely the worst feeling.
I'm currently working on getting setup with a doctor that does IVIG treatments. (Intraveineous immuno globulin) treatments. Honestly I don't know much about it but apparently there is a thing called long COVID. That this treatment helps. I had COVID in Nov 2020 and although my issues definitely existed before the COVID, they se to be gaining speed and severity in the time following.
Image credits: el_undulator
#20 Suddenly Realizing How Something In Your Past Wasn't "Normal"PM_ME_BREAD_PICS_ said:
Telling someone about something that happened in the past and realizing that that wasn't normal
When my therapist told me my first relationship was abusive... All the music and TV I watched at the time fed me this narrative that emotional pain and turmoil were part of the romance.
I couldn't accept the reality of it until they looked me straight in the eye and said "that isn't romance, that is abuse" with the most blunt tone and expression on their face.
They also let me know what Stockholm Syndrome was, and how it distorted my memories.
It was a rough recovery process... but I thank the good Lord that I was able to heal from all that mess.
Image credits: PM_ME_BREAD_PICS_
#21 BurnoutOtherIsSuspended said:
Currently finishing my first year of college and I have no will to do literally anything but sleep. Hell I didn't eat until 4 o'clock today and couldn't even finish my meal which for me, that's very strange, I have never done that in my life. But I'm just completely burnt out and have so much [stuff] to do still. And it makes it even worse that I put it off and then just have this massive mountain of [bullstuff] to do. Finding someone to talk to about it is never easy because everyone says "oh yeah I feel that" and I don't want to take anything away from anyone but it compounds with stress and anxiety so bad and I just never really know what to do except suck it up and finish it out. Don't even get me started with the social weight too and how that whole thing goes. Sorry for the long-windedness, just had to get that off my chest.
Image credits: OtherIsSuspended
#22 Unrequited LoveWhyCantIChangeMyNaym said:
When you want someone or are in love with some but they don't feel the same way towards you.
Happened to me last year and the worst part was that I knew it wasn't the end of the world. But my brain would NOT stop thinking about her. I knew it was never going to happen and I wanted to move on but my brain said "NOPE! You're not going to be able to do anything for even an hour without thinking about her!"
Thankfully this was about 7 months ago so I'm okay now but those couple of months were BRUTAL.
Image credits: WhyCantIChangeMyNaym
#23 Understanding Your Responsibility For Your Own MiseryHeatchill209 said:
Realizing you're responsible for your own misery.
The moment when you mess up and the horror and shock when you realized you made a horrible mistake and you can’t take it back and your life is this way now because of this moment and because of you.
Image credits: Heatchill209
#24 Seeing Your Father CryPlaggingMemes said:
Seeing your dad cry...
My family had never seen my dad cry. The day my family had to leave to go back to Asia (after dropping me off in Canada to study, and it was my first time being away from my family), my dad cried on the phone while saying goodbye to me. My brother stopped crying cause he was in so much shock seeing my dad cry for the first time.
I finally saw my dad cry about a year ago, when his brother was in the ICU due to COVID and we weren't sure if he could make it. Broke my heart that day seeing that.
Image credits: PlaggingMemes
#25 Abusive Parents Expecting Love Years LaterDominus786 said:
Parents who've abused you all your life expecting love 20 years later.
My wife is going through this, she’s finally accepted not only that she was abused but that her parents have no [effin'] clue that the [stunts] they pulled was abusive. Now it’s emotional abuse about her avoiding them and not making time for them. It’s a real [mess].
My mom doesn't understand why my girlfriend and I don't come over more often.
Ohhhh I don't know. Maybe the 15+ years of constant blackmail, yelling, verbal abuse, and a little physical abuse sprinkled in every now and then?
Image credits: Dominus786
#26 Shame8bitdimensional said:
I came her to say shame and specifically hangover shame. You just know you’re a garbage person because your insides feel like literal garbage and you can’t remember exactly how much of a [effin'] idiot you were last night but you’re sure it was a lot. Also, your friends are pretending to like you and your career is a joke. Hangover semi-conscious fever dreaming is when you realize you need to get out your skin, change careers, and move across the country where no one knows what a piece of [nothing] you are.
Side note: none of this is true, your mind is just [messing] with you, and maybe don’t do all the shots next time.
Image credits: 8bitdimensional
#27 Being Left OutCircuitMind said:
Seeing your friend group do cool stuff without you.
“You’re more than welcome to come to this thing we’ve had planned for a week but you’re now conveniently here so I feel like I need to ask, it’ll be fun!”
Or this one:
“What are you up to?”
“We all just got back from [mutual interest] thing. We’re going to hangout at [friend's name] house for a while now if you want to stop out”
Image credits: CircuitMind
#28 That One Split Second Before You Remember Something Terrible Right After Waking Uppyschreader said:
When you wake up and there's that split second than you remember something terrible that happened the day before.
For me it's waking up and you have a split second of an empty mind and clean slate then come to your senses and realize you're day is probably going to be [bullbull] because of work!
This happened to me a couple years ago when an ex broke up with me suddenly the night before. Woke up in the morning not remembering what had happened for a second and then immediately started bawling at 8am. It sucked.
Image credits: pyschreader
#29 Tooth PainDuCKnFiRE said:
OMG YES! I had a molar that needed a root canal. Had it all set up then BOOM! Covid. Lost my job, my insurance, everything.
Fast forward a year and a piece of it breaks off. Multiple infections I couldn’t go get taken care of…
Fast forward ANOTHER year and I’m finally getting it taken out on Thursday.
Image credits: DuCKnFiRE
#30 Watching A Loved One ExpireWatching a person you love be in excruciating, life-ending pain for hours, while an in-house hospice nurse desperately tries to contact a doctor (who is meant to be on-call, but has gone on holiday) so that they can get approval to administer the anaesthetic your loved one needs.
#31 Being Unable To Open Up To Those You Lovegloomytrait said:
Not being able to open up to the ones you love.
I have so many walls internally that took me the longest time to really notice and acknowledge. For so long I didn't realize how much I keep people at arms length. Usually because I assume they won't like me (who would?) Or will think I am ugly or annoying (most do) so what's the point? Then you're lonely even in a group and wonder why you never feel connected to anyone. Then you get so used to the lonely that it feels like nothing. Like emptiness. Then you dissociate completely because, nothing feels like anything anyway.
Image credits: gloomytrait
#32 Clocking In For A Very Long Shiftdijohnnaise said:
Clocking in for my 16-hour shifts.
I used to do Apple Tech over the phone and at first it was OK. Then they “promoted” a bunch of us to Tier 2 and proceeded to work us to 12 hour shifts 6 days a week. I was good at the customer service not so much the tech and it all got overwhelming. I would go to work and cry at my desk right before logging on. That was a miserable job.
Image credits: dijohnnaise
#33 Being Trapped In Lifedirty34 said:
Being trapped in life.
Totally with you there.
Try really hard not to think about it, try to notice when you are thinking about it just to stop yourself. Seriously rumination is your worst enemy, even if your ruminations are logical and true.
But if they're logical and true, what do you get from not ruminating?
I guess I get peace of mind, but then it feels like I'm ignoring reality. And that also makes me ruminate even more.
Took me at least 3 months of conscious effort to break the habit of rumination. 15 years of constant depression slowly changed from every day to once a month a most. It's a ton of work but worth it. Can't promise it will work for everyone though.
It's like I have a different perspective on life now a year later, though I still recognize it's mostly poop. But on good days I can deliberately think about these things, without the habit coming back. In other words, confront reality but only on your own terms. Make it your B*tch.
#34 Being Useditscalledneuronsjuan said:
Being used by people. Happened to me all through high school by people I thought were my friends outside of the 'academic relationship' we had. I'd give them answers to the classwork and help them with anything they needed, and I thought this meant we were friends. But when they only ever text you for schoolwork help, you figure it out. And it hurts like hell, especially when you're struggling with mental health and being the new kid.
I know this feeling way to well. I though some people were my friends but after i think 3 years I realized the sad truth. later people texted me only when they needed help even with the easiest things but when I wanted some help with something I was ignored and later they were mad at me because i wasn't talking to them (I texted them many times but no answer for even few weeks). When I ignored their "help" requests it ended in them gaslighting me and lying about me behind my back. Now I have trust issues and I talk mainly to 1 friend that I know for 16+ years.
#35 Uncertainty About Things That Mattercity-eremite said:
Uncertainty about something important.
The second examiner of my bachelor's thesis is unhappy with parts of it and my prof recommends to rewrite those parts. I just learned this a few hours ago. I haven't talked to the second examiner yet so I don't know exactly what's wrong, I feel like the thesis was overall a good job. It's hard to cope with that feeling of fault and anxiety right now for me.
All last week my girlfriend was acting very off and the whole entire week I just couldn't focus and relieve the worry and stress of thinking is she gonna respond? Are we gonna be OK? Does she still like me? It was just confusion and uncertainty I had to wait the week out to resolve. It. Sucked.
Turns out she wanted to end things.
Image credits: city-eremite
#36 The Moments Of "You Done Goofed Now"I don't think its the absolute worst, but it's certainly up there: The between-seconds feeling of royally f*****g up, and *realizing* the magnitude of said f**k-up, and then *understanding the consequences of your f**k-up.* In about three seconds, your spine fills with magma, your forehead sloughs off like warm butter, and the only thing you can do is look downwards at an 45-degree angle and start stirring your brain on how you gotta deal with it. This ranges anywhere from sending the wrong text to the wrong person, or cutting off your hand. It's the same goddamn feeling.
#37 Losing Hopebrushpickerjoe said:
Losing hope. Specifically the hope that things will get better.
On the bright side, once you lose all hope, you have tons of room left to nurture your bitterness, and goddamn if bitterness and perseverance don't go hand in hand.
Got injured, got overweight, got [screwed over] by my mental illnesses, hated my career field, hated where I lived, had [poor] credit, etc. One day something just clicked, and I was just like,"Yo, but for real, [screw] this [dung]", and started doing things again. Now I'm actually getting my life back on track, and most of the credit goes to my overwhelming bitterness.
Image credits: brushpickerjoe
#38 Something Messed Up Happens, But You Gotta Be Cool Because You're Among PeopleYaBoyfriendKeefa said:
Having something really f****d up happen but you’re in a social situation where you can’t react, so you’re totally disassociated and dying inside while trying to navigate conversation like everything is fine.
I moved across country, was saving up to have my dog brought here with me, learned last week she passed away 2 weeks ago. When I learned she died, I still had to go into work, got bills to pay.
[Man], I feel ya, like both my grandparents have died before I could even say goodbye and I just didn’t react. Like, I get I was the last to know, but, [man], it’s just like well how do I feel about the situation now. “I knew this person my whole life and it’s [sad] they’ve died, but how could I be so unimportant to be the literal last person to know.” That’s how I felt BOTH times, too.
#39 Life Gives And Live TakesGod_of_hoodies said:
when life gets good and it gets taken away every single time.
Ouch, I felt this in my soul. Suddenly started having anxiety/stress related seizures at 22 and my life has never been the same. I was starting a career and everything. :(
#40 Existential Dreadslobberin said:
Yeah both. Like when freelance work dries up and your bank balance reaches 0 and you don't even see a path to income available on the horizon. But then while you're falling asleep you stop thinking about that and start trying to visualize how one would even perceive that they've died if there's no life after death and how the concept of time would be irrelevant and you get this feeling of standing on a bridge with water rushing under your feet at the speed of light and this super small feeling trying to conceptualize an eternal void of oblivion that stretches forward infinitely while, just like before you were born, you don't exist to perceive it.
#41 Failuretvcriticgirlxo said:
Failure sucks, I’ve fallen down and got back up so many times that I almost gave up. Finally got thru to being successful in many areas. Don’t give up!!! I’m a 3× felon and an ex [drug] addict also. Now I’m a real estate appraiser with two crypto businesses… you can do it!
#42 Knowing Folks Are Waiting For You To Leave Their Lives, Yet Not Having The Courage For Itpopcorn-sand said:
Knowing the people around you are waiting for you to be out of their lives, and not having the courage to leave.
It's upsetting because if you leave for them you are just rewarding cowardice, and you'll get blamed for leaving lol. But if you don't leave it usually comes with some mistreatment.