13 Ways To Have the Best Sex of Your Life in 2023
It’s sad to think about the fact that female health and wellness—in regards to sex and anything unrelated to childbirth—is something that’s been overlooked for far too long. For years, women have been silently suffering from subpar sex, orgasming less than men, and having their G-spots ignored. Until one day, when women everywhere finally decided that enough was enough, and decided to take matters into their own hands.
That said, if you’re ready to give yourself and your sex life a major upgrade in the new year, you’ve come to the right place. Regardless of where you are on your sexual journey—whether you’re still learning about yourself, a sex toy novice or seasoned veteran, or trying to have one of those elusive internal orgasms—these 13 sex tips and tricks will help you have the best sex of your life in 2023. Keep scrolling to learn more.
1. Bring ASMR into the bedroom
Sex may be the last thing you associate with ASMR, but experts predict that bringing it into the bedroom will be a major sex trend for 2023. “Since ASMR is calming to many people, those who have trouble relaxing in the bedroom may find it easier to relax,” sex educator Suzannah Weiss tells Popsugar. This can help you focus on the pleasure you’re feeling in the present moment and create a euphoric experience, as well as make sex deeper and more intimate.
Some popular ASMR sex sounds include moaning, whispering, hearing a condom wrapper open or a partner putting on lubrication, back-scratching, and scalp-massaging. To create a sensory experience you can use audio porn apps, FrolicMe, or “ASMR sex sounds” on YouTube. You can also try whispering dirty things into your partner’s ear, or have them massage your entire body from head to toe. It’s all about experimenting and finding what works for you, but if you’re someone who loves ASMR, chances are, you’ll love incorporating it into your sex life.
2. Try ethical sex-ploration
According to a recent survey conducted by Bumble, 2023 will see more people exploring sex in different ways than the previous year—something that’s been coined “ethical sex-ploration.” This means approaching sex in a more open-minded way, which will open up the opportunity for better experiences and sexual self-discovery, regardless of your relationship status. Keep an open mind this year, and don’t be afraid to experiment with different positions, kinks, or fetishes.
3. Have tantric sex
Tantric sex is a more mindful approach to sex that weaves together spirituality, sexuality, and mindfulness to create a sexual experience full of healing transformation, and enlightenment. It focuses on celebrating the experience and your body rather than orgasming. Getting intentional and having more mindful sex is going to create earth-shattering experiences and increase the intimacy you have with yourself or partner. Taking the time to regularly practice mindfulness through things such as yoga, meditation, or deep breathing can help with this as well.
To have tantric sex, slow down and get to know your body better through things like masturbation, which can help awaken and increase your sexual energy and potentially clear any emotional blocks you may have around sex and self-touch. For partnered sex, full-body massages are a great way to revel in touch beforehand. Likewise, focusing on your breath and really allowing yourself to feel everything—every sensation or ounce of pleasure—will help you be more mindful and present during sex.
4. Experiment with praise kink
Praise kink is exactly what it sounds like—someone who gets off on being applauded or recognized. The term first emerged on TikTok this past summer and quickly grew in popularity. With praise kink, there is typically some form of power play, with the submissive partner earning the praise, though it can work the other way around. Simply saying things like “good girl” or “good boy” or “you feel so good when…” will get the job done, but nonverbal signs like a kiss on the forehead or thumbs-up can also work as well. Since this one has a pretty low entry barrier, experimenting with it can be a great way to spice up your sex life this year.
5. Finally have internal orgasms
Every orgasm is amazing, but there is nothing like the earth-shattering pleasure that comes from having an internal orgasm, and certified sex coach Mangala Holland predicts that they’ll also be another major sex trend in 2023. “I’m definitely seeing a huge rise in clients who are craving a much deeper sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, which they’re getting from G-spot and cervix orgasms, as opposed to the ‘quick release and get on with my day’ vibe of the clitoral orgasm,” Holland tells Woman & Home.
To learn your own anatomy and finally have an internal orgasm (or twenty!), Holland recommends playing around with sex toys like G-spot vibrators or long, straight dildos. In addition, experimenting with different positions and engaging in foreplay, simultaneously stimulating the clitoris, or even having a clitoral orgasm before penetration can also help as well.
6. Play with multi-functional sex toys
2023 is rethinking sex toys, with multi-functioning ones being all the rage. Think: many toys in one, long-distance vibrators, couples toys, and eco-friendly ones.
If I had to choose one vibrator for the rest of my life, this would be it. I love its fully bendable, customizable design that precisely targets the G-spot, and how cute it looks. It’s small enough to fit into your palm yet powerful enough for mind-blowing orgasms thanks to its 8 preset vibes and 16 intensities; it also pairs with MysteryVibe’s app, so it can be controlled from anywhere.
This 8” glass dildo is eco-friendly, sleek, and can be used anally or vaginally if you want to have a cervical orgasm. The glass material gives it an opulent look, and it’s formulated with an ergonomic design, so you can comfortably hold and use it for all your pleasure.
Did you know that 1 in 10 women suffer from painful penetrative sex? The founder of Ohnut was struggling with this for years, which is why she created these buffer rings, so you can control how much goes in. Simply place on your partner’s penis or toy you’re using, and kiss the days of painful sex goodbye.
This unisex vibrator is perfect for couples or solo play and is designed to target 6 erogenous zones. It’s also remote-controlled and bendable, so it can fully adapt to you and your body. And if you have a vulva and are using it alone, you can bend the Crescendo 2 for simultaneous internal and external stimulation.
7. Use lube
There’s a common misconception that using lube means the sex is bad—but it’s time to rewrite that narrative. Lube is especially important for vagina-owners because it can help keep vaginal skin soft and reduce irritation and friction during penetration via either a partner or toy. Plus, it can seriously enhance your play and arousal, so lube up your fingers, sex toys, or a penis this year with a lubricant filled with ingredients that won’t harm your vulva.
This natural, organic lubricant feels good and tastes even better (seriously—it, and you, will taste ahh-mazing). Formulated with organic coconut oil, vanilla essence, stevia, and beeswax, this will keep things slick without irritating any lady parts. If you live in a colder climate, just be sure to store it somewhere warm, like your shower or medicine cabinet, to prevent it from hardening.
8. Focus on foreplay
Modern-day TV shows and movies have done women a massive injustice by depicting sex as being something you can hop right into. Although foreplay is beneficial for all sexes, it’s especially important for women. Foreplay is both physical and mental, and women need that mind-body connection in order to get ready for any sort of sexual activity and orgasm (which, in the famous words of Nicki Minaj, we should be demanding every time).
Oral sex is most commonly associated with foreplay, and while that definitely shouldn’t be off the table, think about different ways you can prepare your mind and body for sex. This could be creating a romantic setting, spritzing on your favorite perfume, wearing clothes you feel sexy in, or teasing your partner in the buildup to the event. You can also try taking a hot bath prior to getting it on to increase blood flow to your vulva or playing a sex game with your partner. The options are truly endless, so give yourself permission to have fun and get creative.
9. Educate yourself
The truth is, the more you know about your own body and reproductive system, the more pleasure you’ll have in the bedroom. And with websites like O.School and Shush Life designed to provide you with sex courses, and companies like MysteryVibe, Maude and Dame, expanding your knowledge on all things sex is easier than ever.
In addition, learning more about yourself and your sexual responses can also help expand your repertoire. Find out what your erotic blueprint is or the best sex positions for your star sign; read a sex book or Google different sex positions to try over the weekend. There’s so much information out there, and taking advantage of it will give your sex life a major upgrade.
10. Keep your body healthy
Everything in your body’s connected, so it makes sense that a healthy libido is a major indicator of a healthy body. This year, prioritize keeping your body as healthy as possible by getting plenty of rest, drinking enough water, exercising regularly, and eating the right foods. Foods such as oysters, salmon, avocado, and nuts and seeds can promote healthy blood flow throughout the body and improve circulation to the genitals and increase sex drive. Likewise, eating a balanced diet rich in vegetables and lean proteins can also be beneficial. That said, if you feel like you’re not getting enough nutrients, consider talking to your doctor about taking over-the-counter vitamins and supplements to support your health and boost sex drive.
In addition, focus on strengthening your pelvic floor as well. Studies have shown correlations between weak pelvic floors and sexual dysfunction, like pain during sex. Doing low-impact exercises, like swimming or pilates, or Kegels are some easy ways to do this. However, if you’re experiencing severe discomfort, it’s never a bad idea to consult a professional.
11. Release the stress
It’s no secret that stress can seriously mess with your vaginal health and suppress your sex drive, but stress is simply unavoidable, which is why it’s so vital to have healthy outlets that help you stress less. Regularly doing things like meditation, yoga, deep breathing, or even journaling are some great stress-relievers. Likewise, Tai Chi or hobbies such as reading, cooking, or arts and crafts are also healthy ways to release stress.
That said, while I love a good cocktail just as much as the next person, turning to alcohol to manage stress levels is only going to backfire. Not only will abusing alcohol negatively impact your health, but it will also hinder your ability to perform in the bedroom and orgasm—which is only going to stress you out more. So, find healthy outlets, and use them to release the stress in your life.
12. Upgrade the missionary position
Missionary is often viewed as “vanilla,” but the truth is, it is anything but. Not only is it great for emotional intimacy, it’s also one of the easiest sex positions to spice up and enhance. Incorporating sex pillows, bringing in sex toys, prioritizing clitoral stimulation, adding lots of lube, and zoning in on erogenous zones, like the neck, are some examples of ways you can upgrade missionary this year.
13. Build self-love
It’s true that the most important relationship we have is the one with ourselves, and having a satisfying sex life can be difficult if you’re not comfortable in your own skin. We all struggle with insecurity at times, but putting an emphasis on building self-love this year will help increase your confidence inside and outside of the bedroom, which will give you the courage to make sure your wants and needs are being met, with or without a partner.
Self-love and compassion meditations are great for boosting your confidence because they’ll help you learn how to truly love and appreciate your body, change the inner dialogue you have with yourself, and ultimately build your self-esteem. Additionally, take the time to really feel your body—give yourself hugs randomly, admire yourself in the mirror, or caress yourself when you’re soaping up in the shower or bath. Shying away from touching and embracing yourself is only going to hinder your sexual confidence.
Masturbation is also a great way to work on building self-love. Remind yourself that you are deserving of pleasure, and orgasming is really, really good for you. Plus, pleasuring yourself will help you feel more sexual, which will naturally boost your libido. “Masturbation is a means to kindle our eroticism, explore our erogenous zones and enhance our libido,” EdD William Kolbe tells The Healthy. When it comes down to it, loving yourself and your sexuality will help you unlock pleasure like never before, and give you the best sex of your life in 2023.